The Peddling Homelessman

Sorry for the delay, I know it has been a while since any of you have seen fresh content.

Well here is one that I have been chewing on for a little while now, it's another Circus K extravaganza.

About a week ago now I went into my Circle K, as it has been dubbed, and as I approached the front door I saw what appeared to be a middle aged homeless man -we assume he's homeless because it's a pretty safe stereotype- who had his blue backpack openly laid out on top of the trash can. I didn't think much of it as I was on my way in and he didn't interact with me at that time.

So I finished purchasing my Circle K paraphernalia and walked out. As I opened the door I heard this man on the trail end of his sentence asking another gentleman who was getting in his car if he would like something. Didn't hear what it was but saw the departing gentleman graciously decline. Okay, I'm intrigued. What ever could it be?

As I get closer to my car I look into this man's backpack and see some of the contents. Among them were things like cans of Chef Boyardee, Spam, Ramen and some bruised fruit that looked like it had just come from a bizarre fetish focused porn set. As I stepped off the curb into the parking lot this guy, with tattered camo fatigues and a frayed existence said with an impeccable Jackie Gleason from The Honeymooners inflection, "You wanna buy some vegetables?"

Wow, vegetables; right. I responded courteously that I was alright for the moment and in that same "to the moon" voice I heard, "how about an orgasm?"

What?
By this point in the transaction I was very nearly laughing out loud at this man's face. I had no idea how to respond to such an outrageous suggestion. Was he serious? Had I misheard him? The only thing I could think to say was the first thing that came to mind and that was, "no thanks, I've already had my homeless lovin."

And that was that. I'm not sure how well he made out that day, economically speaking; but he made my day. And being the butt end of a joke, especially a homeless one, should make anyone's day really.